April Fools 2015: Cara’s Fab Five Twist Endings

I would be lying if I said this didn’t make me giggle.

Gawd is it already almost May? I’m kind of in shock that this month has gone by so quickly–and that this series has gone by so quickly! I have many lovely people to thank for taking part in this year’s edition of April Fools, but before I get to that, I’m gonna take a crack at it! See, I kind of had one of these at the beginning of the month (see here), but…well, it was actually a prank. But this one’s for real! I promise!

I had a lot of excellent twist endings to contemplate over the course of the month, and a ridiculous number of films popped up on my radar. The Sixth Sense, which was a popular choice for my guests. Fight Club, of course. The Usual Suspects, which is awesome. Sooooo many options! But I managed to narrow it down to five horror films that took me by surprise in some way. Let’s see what we’ve got…

WARNING:

#1: Honeymoon

Yeah. So this happens.

So I’ll admit that Honeymoon actually ended up being a bit of a disappointment for me (see this list), but THAT ENDING. Like, anyone who saw Honeymoon didn’t expect a happy ending, I’m sure, but the way it ends, man…The creepy ass thing that Bea turns into is unnerving enough, but when her complete detachment from her humanity makes her think that her husband Paul can breathe underwater…soooo messed up. It’s a real shock when poor, sweet Paul is tossed into the lake, struggling and sinking while Bea watches from the boat with those eerie eyes. Leaves a pretty sickening feeling.

#2: Pan’s Labyrinth

And then Cara CRIED HER DAMN EYES OUT.

Okay, okay–so given the opening of Pan’s Labyrinth, I guess the ending shouldn’t really come as a shock. But, honestly, by the end of the film, I’ve usually forgotten about the opening scene altogether because there are so many other things going on. The movie as a whole has a fairly shocking level of violence for a fantasy film, but for me the ending is the worst blow. Because Captain Vidal KILLS A FREAKING KID. Like, aren’t kids usually off-limits when it comes to movie kills?! To me, it’s always a surprise when brave little Ofelia is brutally shot by her stepfather and left to bleed to death. Shocking and depressing. P.S. If you haven’t already, you should totally check out this Film Club post about Pan’s Labyrinth.

#3: Saw

Tough luck, bro.

I can already feel some judgment coming at me on this one. Here’s the thing: I don’t love the Saw series as a whole, but I am a fan of the first one. And, c’mon, admit it–that ending surprised you the first time you saw it. The pieces slowly begin to come together, and all of the sudden the “dead” man rises from the freaking floor, peeling fake blood off his head and revealing himself to be the infamous Jigsaw, the man responsible for the two protagonists’ grim predicament. When Jigsaw announces, “Game over,” and slams the door shut, leaving pitiful, terrified Adam screaming in the dark, it’s a shock, but an awesome, thoroughly twisted shock. Is it kind of messed up that I love that moment so much?

#4: The Orphanage

Creepiest. Table. Ever.

Is there some kind of rule I don’t know about stating that Spanish horrors always have to end in the most depressing way possible? Because day-um. This stuff’s heavy. Laura spends a majority of The Orphanage looking for her son, who mysteriously vanishes one day. Right around the time he disappears, some serious paranormal activity goes down in her home, which was once an orphanage. So yeah. Ghost orphans. They’re terrifying. But nothing will leave more of a shock than when Laura finally finds her son…who has been dead since shortly after he vanished. Turns out he was accidentally locked in a secret room that day, and then he had a bad tumble when a staircase broke. Laura is devastated when she finds his body…which leads her to overdose on pills. It’s one shock right after the other. Very depressing, but it’s an amazing film. One of my faves, actually.

#5: Se7en

Dude, just…don’t open it. Seriously.

This is one of those movies that makes you shout, “OH, DAMN!” at the screen. Once you see it, you will never forget Brad Pitts’ anguished wail of “What’s in the baaaahhhhhx?!” Kevin Spacey’s eerie John Doe concocts a brilliant, brutal plan to murder people based their sins, saving the best of the seven deadlies for last: envy and wrath. You see, John Doe has arranged for Brad Pitts’ cop character, Mills, and his partner (played by the ever-epic Morgan Freeman) to discover a certain package that happens to contain…erm…a head. Mills’ wife’s head, to be exact. John says that he envies Mills’ life, so to ensure than he receives punishment for his own sin, John does the one thing that he knows will send Mills into such a state of wrath that he will not be able to think of anything but revenge. Mills sees his wife’s head and kills John, completing John’s circle of sinful murders. Meanwhile, we’re left gaping at our screens and feeling kinda ew. Well done, Se7en. Well done.

Those are some of my favorites twists! Any of yours on this little list? Anyway, I hope you guys had fun with this series! I wasn’t sure how people would react to this whole “twist ending” thing, but there have been some really fantastic posts this year. In order of their appearance, I would like to take a moment to thank…

• Allie of Flick Chicks for telling us about The Sixth Sense (and how it was sadly ruined for her)
• Eric “Giantess” Isaacs of The IPC for sharing the perilous tale of Solange and friends
• Anna of Film Grimoire for her hilarious warning about The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
• Niall of The Fluff Is Raging for sharing several great twists and going into detail about Arlington Road
• Kim of Tranquil Dreams for talking about a good twist, a meh twist, and an ugly twist
• Mutant of Cinema Parrot Disco for introducing me to the weirdest movie ever 😉
• Abbi of Where the Wild Things Are for putting together one of her awesome top 10 lists
• Zoë of The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger for making my blog “Filth”-y
• Rob of MovieRob for changing things up to discuss the always excellent Star Wars franchise

Please know that I think you guys are the greatest and I ❤ you!!!

So I guess this is the end of April Fools…OR IS IT?!?!?

…No but really, it is. Thanks again, everybody! I’ll start brainstorming for next year! 🙂