My sister/partner-in-crime, Laura Jo, and I have texted about three epic trilogies: Star Wars, Jurassic Park, and Indiana Jones. What could possibly come next?! Well, we’ve decided to take on a juggernaut—a production company we can only chip away at little by little because there are so very many movies in its wheelhouse. That’s right. We’re taking on freaking Disney.
An endeavor this massive will take time, but we have a strategy: take on three, step away and do something else, then take on three more. If every other round of Shenanigans is Disney rather than every round, surely that daunting Mickey Mouse won’t beat us…right? Guys…RIGHT?? Well, I guess we’ll find out. Anyway, we’re starting with three of our favorite Pixar films. Let’s kick it off with Finding Nemo!
Laura Jo: GO FISH
Cara: PLAY HAS BEEN PRESSED
C: MAGICAL CASTLE
LJ: Adorable lamp!
C: You squish that “I,” you cute little thing.
C: And sweet little clownfish!
LJ: It’s a whole adorable fish community!
C: Only a Disney fish community could be so adorable.
LJ: Ew fish eggs
LJ: Even in Pixar they’re gross
C: Yeah they tried…
C: WHY DISNEY WHY
LJ: CORAL HAD TO BE THE HERO
C: WHAT DOES DISNEY HAVE AGAINST WHOLE FAMILIES FOR CHRIST SAKE???
LJ: Orphan movies are part of their business plan
C: Gasp! More tropes!
LJ: Oh yes
LJ: EW FISH EGG STILL GROSS
LJ: Oh Nemo you’re so cute!
C: PRESH! So much cuter than he was as an egg.
LJ: THE LUCKY FIN
C: Precious…but more disadvantages for a Disney kid.
LJ: I mean, Belle, Ariel, and Jasmine only have fathers
LJ: Elsa and Anna are organs
LJ: Yikes autocorrect
C: But they DO have organs, to be fair. You tried, iPhone.
LJ: Aw clownfish! Tell us a joke!
C: Oh, Marlin. Least funny clownfish ever.
C: SPONGE BATH TUMBLE. LOL.
LJ: OMG LITTLE SQUID
C: Pigtails lookin presh
LJ: I must say that is one friendly manta ray
C: Totes. Real life manta rays kind of terrify me…
LJ: Aw Marlin is having separation issues
C: Extreme separation issues. But I guess you kinda can’t blame him.
LJ: Oooo pretty ocean stuff
C: Very pretty, yes. Pixar pulled out all the stops for this one.
LJ: AW, YOU GUYS MADE ME INK
LJ: Wow, that’s a pretty big butt. HA
C: Butt jokes. The kids love ‘em.
LJ: Woah Nemo! He said I Hate You!
LJ: Okay yeah but now he’s just being dumb
LJ: DO NOT SWIM TO THE BOAT
C: Yeah bad idea, kiddo.
LJ: Ha! …he touched the butt.
LJ: OMG DIVER
C: AHHHH TERRIFYING
C: LEAVE THE FISH ALONE YOU GOLIATH
LJ: And that, children, is why you listen to your parents
C: Srsly. It’s like Taken but with fish. And without the whole being sold into prostitution thing.
LJ: Poor Marlin. OMG Dory!!
LJ: Ellen is perfection as this fish
C: Omg right? How did she not get roped into more voice work after this?
LJ: OH GOD
C: Eeeeek those teefs!!!!
LJ: BRUCE THE AUSSIE SHARK
C: FISH ON THE BARBIE!!!!
LJ: Hahaha fish are friends, not food
C: Here’s my question: what would they eat instead?
LJ: I have no idea.
C: Nice try though, Disney.
LJ: Oh no sharks, don’t make Marlin tell a joke again!!
C: He tries, bless him.
LJ: Hahahaha Bruce the Shark is getting emotional
C: RUH ROH
LJ: BRUCE DUDE STAY COOL
C: Nope. Homeshark’s gonezo.
C: AHHH THE SHINING REFERENCE
LJ: Gasp!! Dory can read human!!
LJ: Omg!!! That’s a bomb!!!!
C: SWIM AWAY
LJ: Ha!!! Judgmental pelican!
C: LOL. Massive explosion becomes pelican fart joke.
C: Poor, confused Nemo!
LJ: Ugh no dentist, you did not save Nemo, you presumptuous thing
C: Damn humans.
LJ: Ha! Jacques, you weirdo
C: Oh Jacques is not the only weirdo in this bunch…
LJ: OH GOD
LJ: THE DENTAL PROCEDURES
C: YEAH NO THNX
C: Aw love the kind Aussie pelican!
LJ: What a sweetheart
LJ: Oh god
C: I bet she’s related to Sid from Toy Story.
C: Psycho kids! #disneytropes
LJ: Omg!!! Yes!!
LJ: All the Pixar worlds are related!
C: Totes. Also, WILLEM DAFOE FISH FTW.
LJ: Gill from the ocean…he’s so dramatic
LJ: Ha! Sleeping Dory just said “Yes I’m a natural blue”
C: My favorite was “The sea monkey has my money.”
LJ: HA! Yes!
LJ: Just keep swimming! Just keep swimming! Go find the mask guys!
C: Just keep swimming!!! The song of, like, my middle school class.
LJ: Guys don’t go toward the light!!!
C: OH HELL THE TEETH
LJ: HOLY ANGLER FISH
C: Seriously, the deep sea is the most terrifying place ever.
LJ: CONVINCED THE OCEAN IS THE MOST TERRIFYING PLACE ON EARTH
LJ: Ha we’re the same
C: JINX JOKE
LJ: YOU OWE ME A COKE
C: Gasp! Dory remembers something!
LJ: The plot thickens
LJ: Meanwhile, back in the fish tank…
C: Lol! Jacques is a creeper.
LJ: Yes, yes he is
LJ: Also Nemo has stumbled upon some kind of fish cult
C: Ha ooh ah he ha ho ho ho
LJ: I keep waiting for them to go into oogachakaooogaooogaooogachaka
C: HA! Hooked On a Feeling would have double meaning here!
LJ: And now he’s Sharkbait haha
C: Sharkbait ooh ha ha!!!
LJ: Oh wow Gill has this escape plan down pat!
C: Fishion Impossible
LJ: Oh no Marlin!! Don’t break up with Dory!
C: John Ratzenberger fish! He’s in every Pixar movie!
LJ: Ratzenberger is in every Pixar movie? That’s awesome!
C: I think so! He’s the Abominable Snowman in Monsters, bad guy at the end of The Incredibles…I’m drawing a blank, but he’s all over.
LJ: Is he Slinky in Toy Story?
C: No he’s not Slinky but he is a regular…
LJ: No Marlin! Just go through the trench!
C: Should have listened to Dory, bro.
C: “And he shall be my squishy.” Lol.
LJ: OHNO! Jellyfishacolypse!
LJ: Hahah “we’re cheating death now, but we’re having fun at the same time”
C: HAMM. John Ratzenberger is Hamm in Toy Story. Sorry—that was bugging me. Lol.
LJ: Aaaaaahhh yes, that’s it
C: LOL. Exactly.
LJ: Oh no Dory!!!!
LJ: She got jellyfished
C: Ahhhh Marlin don’t fall askeeeeep!
LJ: Or asleep eother!!
LJ: “All drains lead to the ocean”
LJ: That’s depressing
C: And really disgusting
C: “It’ll be a piece of kelp.” Oh you clever writers.
LJ: Go Sharkbait go! Stop that fan!
C: OH NO FAN IS BACK ON
LJ: Ugh what tension
LJ: Poor Nemo
LJ: SEA TURTLES
C: OH HELL YES
C: California surfer accent for sea turtle = perfection
LJ: The east Australian current!! They did it!!
C: GRAB SHELL DUDE
LJ: Hahaha amazing
C: Aw poor scratched up Dory!
LJ: But hide and seek, surprise!!
C: And BABY TURTLES
LJ: OMG TURTLE FAMILY
LJ: Jelly man hahahahah
C: Turtle scene wins on so many levels
LJ: I want a baby turtle
C: I bet stranger things have been on a leash in Central Park.
LJ: 100% yes
LJ: Hahaha the swordfish
C: BOSTON LOBSTERS. LOL.
LJ: Word travels across the ocean!
C: OMG THE BEST
LJ: SO. TRUE.
LJ: They got that one right.
C: Poor depressed Nemo! Poor depressed Gill!
LJ: Aw, Gill feels remorse
LJ: …but he’s right, he totally put a child in danger
LJ: Marlin is a legend!!!
LJ: Omg I’m going to cry
C: Ahhh don’t cry!!! This isn’t Up!!!
LJ: I’m okay now, the moment passed
LJ: Omg Nemo crushed it!! Filter down!!
C: Mission Dirty Tank is a GO.
C: Aw Squirt you tell how to exit!!
LJ: He is SO cute
C: For reals
LJ: I don’t want the turtles to leeeeeave
LJ: Crush the turtle is 150!
C: Maybe they’ll be in Finding Dory!
LJ: Oh yeah! I forgot about that
C: Something to look forward to next year!
LJ: Next year we will have time for nothing but movies
LJ: Uh oh mysterious fish
C: Dory speaking whale ftw
LJ: Ha!!! …“you’re speaking, like, upset stomach”
C: Lol! The krill! “Swim away!!”
LJ: Swallowed by a whale! #disneytropes
C: Oh gees I guess so. This and Pinocchio, right?
LJ: Aaand the dentist wipes the fish tank gunk on his patient
LJ: COME ON MAN
LJ: THAT’S GROSS
C: Just kinda…
C: Whale teeth are the strangest teeth.
LJ: Broom bristle teeth
LJ: Marlin has just zero faith in Dory
LJ: Aw no he’s giving up!
C: Nooo Marlin dooooon’t!!!
C: Ahhhhh hang on to the tongue bumps, guys!!!
LJ: Also gross
LJ: Omg they trust the whale!!
LJ: …and out the spout!
C: Whale spout magic!!!
C: And the search is renewed with vigor!
LJ: Oh no!! New tank cleaner!
C: Say it ain’t so!
C: OH GOD SWIM DOWN GUYS
LJ: Oh no plastic bag!!!
LJ: OMG DARLA
C: OH SHIT
LJ: SHES TERRIFYING
C: PSYCHO MUSIC PLAYS AND EVERYTHING
LJ: IT’S THE HEADGEAR/PIGTAIL COMBO
LJ: And then somehow the choking pelican is hilarious
C: Haha only Disney.
C: SEAGULLS RETURN
LJ: Hahahaha hop inside my mouth if you want to live
C: Seagull chase scene!
LJ: AHHHH DARLA STAHP
C: Notice they made her a ginger…
LJ: Go Nigel go!!!!
C: Poor terrified kid in the waiting room.
LJ: Yeah for real
LJ: Nemo down the drain!
LJ: Way to go Gill!
C: Gill gets to be the hero!!
LJ: That tortured angelfish finally did something right
C: Aw Marlin noooo! Nemo’s alive!
LJ: Oh Marlin!! Waaaait!
LJ: I look at you and I’m home! Oh Dory!!! Sniffle
C: UGH. Don’t leave her behind, Marlin!!!
LJ: Omg Nemo is back!!
C: Nemo and Dory unite!!!
LJ: DORY REMEMBERS
LJ: And she just kicked a crab’s ass hahaha
C: LOL. Crab interrogation scene.
LJ: They found each other again!!!
C: MARLIN AND NEMO REUNITED
LJ: Oh no more fishermen!
C: …only to get caught in a big ass net. Dammit, Disney!!!
LJ: Save Dory!!
C: SWIM DOWN TOU UGLY GRAY FISH
LJ: SWIM DOWN FOOLS
LJ: JUST KEEP SWIMMING
C: AND THEY BROKE THE BOAT
LJ: Ugh emotions
C: Tender father-son moment. HEART BURSTS.
C: Back in the adorable neighborhood!
LJ: Marlin finally remembered his joke!!
C: Thank God. And Squirt and Bruce return!!
LJ: And I guess Dory forgave Bruce for his violent bloodlust?
C: She’s very, very forgiving.
LJ: …and forgetful
C: Ahhhh! Tank fish escape!
C: Aww yay!!! Such a good one.
LJ: Bro turtles FTW
C: And so we complete Various Pixar Favorites, Round 1!
LJ: Go us!
C: Agreed. I’m already excited for what’s up next.
LJ: Me too! …there will be tears
C: God yes.
C: But also so much joy.
LJ: Much emotion will be had
C: PIXAR MAKES YOU FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS.
LJ: Yes, yes they do
LJ: WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE
C: Gods of animation. They are drunk with power.
LJ: Have mercy on us
So there we go! Round one goes to the Schuster Sisters! But the victor remains to be seen. Will we beat Disney…or will Disney beat us?? *cue dramatic DUH DUH DUHHHH* Stay tuned to find out! 😉