NOOOOvember 2014: The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger

It’s always disappointing to have to suffer through another Monday, huh? Here’s the bright side: I’ve got some NOOOOvember disappointments for you here that I think most of us can agree on and vent about together. This list is comin’ atcha from the lovely and wonderful Miss Zoë from The Sporadic Chronicles of a Beginner Blogger. She gave this post a good long think and came up with 10 pretty spot-on letdowns. Take it away, lady!

Ten Noooovember-worthy Disappointments

Cara announced Noooovember forever ago, and I have really wanted to get involved with this since the last one. When I saw she was doing it again, naturally I was all aboard. However, picking the disappointing movie seemed to be where the biggest issue came into play, so my colleagues and I all got involved in listing movies, debating about them, seeing which ones were better than others, and which ones were worse. We had a huge list by the end of it, but we weren’t done yet. We had to whittle this down… but how?! However, soon we hit a place where there were just too many offensive movies that have monumentally let us down, which gave rise a top ten list. Yep, that happened. Anyway, we further compiled it with a rating system out of ten as to how bad the kick in the teeth experienced was when watching the films – obviously the higher it is the more annoying and disappointing it was.

Godzilla (2014)

Decreed Offensive Because: Where was the Big G? The trailers lied.
Redeeming Quality: When Godzilla was on screen (however briefly), he was extremely impressive.
Office Offense Level: 8/10

Transcendence (2014)

Decreed Offensive Because: What a waste of a great cast and a relatively interesting concept. Not like we were expecting awesomeness, but really, this was waaaaaay worse than any of us suspected! Also, where the hell was the return to form for Johnny Depp? He ran around like a drunken pirate with a science degree. -_-
Redeeming Quality: Seeing Paul Bettany, Cillian Murphy and Morgan Freeman together was great, even though it fell flat. Completely. Will Caster’s ambiguity being abandoned by the end.  
Office Offense Level: 4/10

Divergent (2014)

Decreed Offensive Because: What a total desecration of the book, how embarrassingly cringe-worthy, what a waste of a concept. And that soundtrack…?! Good money was spent to be tortured like that.
Redeeming Quality: Theo James as Four.
Office Offense Level: 7/10

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Decreed Offensive Because: Because the Indiana Jones trilogy so did not need to become a quadrilogy, and it was just awkward. Too much CGI, too much bad cheese and a sketchy plot.
Redeeming Quality: Marion Ravenwood and Indiana Jones kicking it together again. Hell yeah! The world is right in that respect, at least.
Office Offense Level: 8/10

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Decreed Offensive Because: Could anyone desecrate a remake any more than they did with this? I mean in all seriousness? It was ridiculous, they changed Freddy so much, and not in a good way. It took itself way too seriously, too, which hurt it even more.
Redeeming Quality: Nothing. Zip. Nada.
Office Offense Level: 10/10

The Wolverine (2013)

Decreed Offensive Because: They somehow managed to make a balls up with this… The story was terrible, the acting was also pretty questionable, it was exceptionally bland, frustrating, and silly to boot.
Redeeming Quality: Seeing the Wolverine with bone claws again. Yes, that whole end was dreadful and stupid and questionable to say the least, but those bone claws are just brutal.
Office Offense Level: 6/10

Elysium (2014)

Decreed Offensive Because: As a South African, Kruger offended the hell out of me. Worse than that, Copley made us all look like idiots that are incapable of speaking English properly. Besides the mess that was Kruger, the concept was fine but went awry, the supporting cast was humiliating and underused… it was just not cool.
Redeeming Quality: Matt Damon. Because he rocks. Does not mean he can get me to watch it again though.
Office Offense Level: 5/10

Prometheus (2012)

Decreed Offensive Because: That trailer was awesome. Then we got a wasted movie with a solid cast. What a pity, too. Luckily we missed a lot of the hype for this, so I didn’t go in with many expectations, but after having friends rave about it, I expected a lot more bang than I got. Also, Charlize Theron. That is all.
Redeeming Quality: The effects were remarkable and the cast carried themselves solidly with what they were given.
Office Offense Level: 4/10

Dark Shadows (2012)

Decreed Offensive Because: Burton was bringing a new film, we were hoping for a return to form. The movie started off just fine, and soon veered off into some really sketchy territory, leaving a bad taste in the mouth over a concept so wasted.  
Redeeming Quality: The movie had a really strong cast and a pretty good soundtrack. Opening with Nights in White Satin was amazing.
Office Offense Level: 6/10

Only God Forgives (2013)

Decreed Offensive Because: After Drive, I was expecting something great. Not for Drive to be recreated or anything like that, just thought that Gosling and Refn teaming up again could only be good news. Instead, we basically got a silent movie with stilted and crude dialogue, substandard acting and a huge disappointment all round.
Redeeming Quality: The movie was shot beautifully, but that really means nothing in the bigger scheme of things.
Office Offense Level: 9/10

Anyway, now that that is all out of the way, thanks for having me lady, this is an awesome series and we had a load of fun with it J Looking forward to seeing what the rest of Noooovember brings!

Brilliant list, lady! I love that the whole office was brought in for this. I feel like it makes the disappointments even more legitimately disappointing if the whole office is raging. Hahaha. More disappointments soon, but tomorrow I actually need some opinions on something…but you’ll see. 🙂