THE RIFF-RAFF, THAT’S WHO!!!
That’s right ladies and gents, I’m here in all of my Unclean Glory…. When I was talking with Cara about my idea for her upcoming blogathon – and that it would require a bunch of uploading, she suggested making me an author on her site here so I could “upload those damned things myself” (sic). Of course I was all “YES YES YES YES YES I CLEAN UP GOOD!!!!” and she said “OK, but no rough housing, horsing around or farting” …….. and then I got my invite….
So now I’m out of the dungeon and in the front room and you see that lamp over there? I’m gonna BLEEP!! BLEEP!!!! BLEEP!!!! BLEEP!!! BLEEP!!!!!! BLEEP!!!!! on the front steps. That Antimacassar there?? BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! The bear skin rug, you ask?? Well, it’s BLEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! with those grey BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! And for our Digestives we’ll have some Jagermeister shots and BLEEP!!!! with the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! and the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! over there by the lawn chairs.
Those of you who know me, know I’m not a guy who gives a BLEEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEP for things like “schedules” or “deadlines” or “commas” or “Oklahoma State University Alumni / Fans” so I’m not sure what’s in store for the future here, but I do know there’s gonna be a bunch of BLEEEEEEEEEP!!! BLEEP!!! BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! and a couple of pinches of BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! and BLEEEEEEP!!! while the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! do the BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!! while BLEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! Polyester pants.
Well, I guess that’s it for my inaugural post. I hope Mistress Cara approves of what I wrote. It’s all just good, clean fun!
See ya around!!
OH YEAH!!! Here’s a teaser (don’t worry, it’s rated PG):
Silver Screen Serenade 
Its like letting your creepy neighbour have a copy of your housekeys
Or your friend sneaking in to your house while you sleep and rearranging all of your furniture…
or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBtuWY5HXCU
Also accurate. And annoying. And severely creepy…
LOL. So accurate.
❤
Remember when Cara used to be the scary one. Now she means like the lesser of two evils, even with the whole ‘starving in the basement for months on end’ thing.
It was miserable down there. My body learned to process fungus, insects and frog urine. I don’t recommend it.
#crampyIPC
I suppose I agree that I’m the lesser of two evils…but I can still be pretty damn evil. Especially with Miguel’s influence. Together, we are your worst nightmares.
Or my best dreams, depending on the context…
LUKE MARIAH ABBOTT (I’m assuming your middle name is Mariah). Did your mind just go to the gutter??
#filthandviolence
My middle name is Mariah – what did you expect?
Also, this is only because you guys are a bad influence on me, so shame on you for creating this monster.
I used to be a real nice guy until Luke entered my life.
Hey, technically Eric created him. I’m just the legal guardian.
The Code is the key….
#noprobieswilleverbeharmed
#abbottsarefairgame
LOL.
#imscaredforluke
Yeah, Cara should change the locks for sure!!! You’ll contaminate the air over here with all of your unclean-ness LOL
Where do polyester pants fit in btw??
❤
I chewed through those BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEPING locks!!! NO ONE CAN HOLD ME!!! I CAN’T BE CONTAINED!!! I’M LIKE A VIRUS THAT CAN’T B-
oh wait – that sounds nasty….
#imanangel
#canyoubelievecaracensoredmelikethat
LOL yes, yes I can. Do you really blame her??
NO!!! 😦
Unfortunately, I can change the locks all I want, and it won’t do any good…Miguel will always let him in…
#help
you’re in trouble then!!
#outofcontrol
: )
#theipcrules
Dear SSC,
YOU ATE SAND?!
Lol, I can see this being a lot of fun!
Love,
JB
JB,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Well.. there were no crawdad so that’s all we had to eat.
You ate what???
We ate sand.
You ate SAND????
That’s right.
SSC,
Exciting stuff in the pipeline! WHOOP!
JB
What the *&@# is this…
It’s a BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP for your BLEEEEEEP and the BLEEEEEEEEEEEP of a BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP dealie maflickie.
Cara! Are you CRAZY?!?! He’s gonna keep your hand on his nightstand now!!!!!!! #besafecara : (
Again. Reserved for someone else.
#mistresscaraissafe
: )
#fsal
#ihavemanywitnesses
#ireallythinkitsme ….
#shouldibeworried
Hmm, I was hoping that sound clip would have more to do with those polyester pants of which you spoke…
Duly noted!!
*makes old fashioned hand written note that no one knows how to do anymore*
*puts in pocket*
*washes jeans*
*wonders how things could be more efficient*
Hey Smash!! Remind me!!
lol!
*Yawn* Morning, guys, what’s going–wait a second…What?
…What?!
…WHAT?!?!
What is this nonsense??? Miguel, who would you possibly let past our security…?
ISAACS. I shoud’ve known!!!
*claws at the sky*
*primal scream*
This is NOT over. Prepare yourself, IPC–Dark Cara will be paying a visit in the near future. You can bet on it. Mwahahahahaha…
Oh BLEEEP. Now I’ve BLEEEEEEEEEEEEPING BLEEEEEEEEPED it. There is at least one saving grace for me. I AM Miguel’s Creator. He will call me Mighty and Unclean and I have the Prototype here. The Cause is to protect and serve Mistress Cara. But also preserve The Creator.
Does Miguel call me mistress?? He never does that when he’s around me! He likes to pretend he has the run of things, but I think I have instilled at least a tiny bit of fear and respect for me. Even so, I don’t think I can ever convince him to keep you out. You know, since he literally worships you and all. Last night, he sacrificed a hornet’s nest in your name. He set it on fire and laughed. It was terrifying.
My prodigy!!!!
Haha BLEEEEPing greatness 😀
HAHAHAHA!! Thanks Tim!
BLEEEEEP! This is great!
THANKS ANNA!!!