Cara and Miguel take New York

Pre-Miguel New York City

I don’t usually delve into personal stuff on here, but as most of you who were keeping up with the April Fools series probably know, I recently returned from visiting my sister, Laura Jo (my Schuster Sister Shenanigans partner), in New York City. It was a lovely visit, and we both had fun. But I made one giant mistake: I took Miguel with me.

Yes, my favorite little hellion, Miguel the Shitfest trophy, went to the Big Apple, and it will never be the same. I think the people of NYC are still in shock. The city is currently working to rebuild some of the tourist attractions he destroyed, and the hot dog vendors…well, they may never recover. For your personal enjoyment, here are a few things that happened during our visit.

Miguel and I packed our bags the night before our flight, making sure to include our favorite socks…

…and our favorite jewelry…

…and Miguel packed his favorite batarang, but he wouldn’t say why. He kept saying, “Just in case.” It made me pretty nervous.

But we got everything together and were ready to go in the morning.

I recall Miguel shouting, “I’m king of the woooooorld!” However, this is the last picture he’s letting me post of him–he says he looks fat in all the others. Sigh. Body image is not a concern a handsome young trophy should have…

We had a brief connection in Chicago O’Hare, and lucky for me, Miguel was on his best behavior. While in Chicago, I only had to break up ONE bloody scuffle between Miguel and a terrified traveler who accidentally bumped into him. We’ve been reading Mockingjay, and Miguel threatened to take him out “Katniss style.” I don’t know what that means, but I think I need to start monitoring his reading choices more closely. Anyway, we were detained by airport security for a little while, but after that we landed safe and sound in LaGuardia airport, where this lovely lady was waiting to pick us up!

Oh yeah–that was from the night we got there! We went to a scrumptious burger joint where she ordered a beer and was shocked to get that monstrous glass. But my sister…

…is a champ.

Not to be outdone, Miguel ordered six of these throughout the evening, which resulted in this:

We’re not sure how many lives were lost during Miguel’s drunken rampage…

Anyway, we finished our dinner and chilled the rest of the night. Well, my sister and I chilled. We aren’t sure what Miguel did, but we found him passed out outside the apartment door the next morning, surrounded by unlit Molotov cocktails and wearing a woman’s nightgown. When I asked him what happened, he turned pale and said, “I don’t wanna talk about it.” But he seemed chipper enough for someone likely suffering from alcohol poisoning, so we took off for Central Park, where we were treated to this gorgeous view:

And I got to hang out in Central Park’s little castle!

See little me up there in the middle? Miguel took this, but he told me he was actually taking pictures of his “mark.” If you know any of the people in this picture and haven’t heard from them in a while, you might want to contact the police…

Later we walked around Times Square, where Godzilla has taken over…

It was inevitable.

Miguel claimed he wanted to start a “turf war” with the monster, but we calmed him down with a little Broadway magic.

“The PHAAAAANTOM of the Opera is there…”

Don’t tell anyone, but Miguel cried seven times during that show. SEVEN. TIMES. Who knew all it took was a tragic story of love and murder set to music to bring out his sensitive side? Anyway, later that day we made a friend–the infamous Naked Cowboy.

Sorry, ladies–he’s not TOTALLY naked.

Unfortunately, this reminded Miguel of the turf war thing, and he began to yell that this was “his corner,” and that “Texas Fabio better step off.” We resolved the tension with the best available resource: margaritas.

The next day we were milling about all over creation, shopping, going to a fancy three-story cineplex for a movie (Captain America: The Winter Soldier…yeah, I saw it again…don’t judge), and busily preparing for a theatre group performance my sister was producing. But we still found time to take pictures wearing the Prada sunglasses that someone accidentally left at my sister’s apartment once.

She is actually the coolest.

Apparently these shades are worth more than $100. Who knew?

Not as cool. I tried.

I tried to get a shot of Miguel wearing them, but he claimed that they didn’t work with his skin tone, and he refused to even touch them. I mean, diva much?! Oh well.

Hey, remember that theatre group performance I mentioned my sister was producing? The next day was the big day! And guess what? I ended up singing for it! Long story short, a three-part musical piece found itself in need of an extra singer, so I volunteered! You can watch the video here if you want. P.S. This theatre organization, The Group Lab, is amazing. Feel free to check them out on Facebook!

My NYC premiere! Miguel was a little jealous he didn’t get to play the drum.

Fun fact that my fellow movie geeks will appreciate: Laura, the supremely talented songwriter to the left of me in the pic above, invited a very special friend of hers to this performance, and this friend, despite being extremely busy right now, found time to attend. Who is this friend? Well…

ERMERGERD LUPITA NYONG’O!!!!!!!!

Yep. Lupita Nyong’o saw me sing. Freaking. Surreal. Sadly, she came in right before the performance and slipped out right after, leaving no time to take pics, but she was part of a very enthusiastic cheering group during the performance, and I hear nothing but lovely things about her. Lupita, I doubt you’re reading this, but you keep on taking Hollywood by storm, girl.

Any ol’ who, the next morning/afternoon, we were craving brunch, so we went to a place that had been recommended to us called The Shady Lady, and, guys…it was heavenly. My brunch consisted of boneless fried chicken on top of biscuits and covered in cheese, bacon, and gravy…

LIKE OMG NOM

…while Laura Jo opted for delectable French Toast covered in strawberries and whipped cream.

Brunch win.

We wanted seconds, but Miguel devoured everything in the restaurant. Literally. After we left, they had to close for the day. Lucky for us, Miguel paid. I have no idea where he got all those dollar bills…but I’m not going to ask. I’m afraid. Anyway, we spent the day exploring. We saw the outside of The Rockefeller Center…

Yep. It was still chilly enough for there to be ice.

…we saw the LEGO Store…

EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!!! Right?? …Anybody?

…and I drooled over jewelry I couldn’t afford.

Miguel offered to buy me something, but I couldn’t accept his blood money…

So it was a wonderful, wonderful trip, and I think everyone learned some valuable life lessons. Like this one, for instance.

Amen.

Now that Miguel and I have settled back into Indiana life, we do miss the hustle and bustle of New York City. Hopefully, we can go back one day. Well, hopefully, I can go back. The NYPD informed us that the city of New York has a restraining order against Miguel. I didn’t even know entire cities could have restraining orders against single individuals. Live and learn. Anyway, just wanted to share some of my trip with you lovely people. Hope you enjoyed, and I hope your day is as fabulous as this:

You stay classy.