We started with A New Hope, continued with The Empire Strikes Back, and OF COURSE we had to finish Star Wars off with Return of the Jedi. So here we go again! I present to you another set of silly texting shenanigans from the Schuster sisters. Enjoy.
Cara: T-MINUS ONE MINUTE
Laura Jo: EWOKS
LJ: This is going to be SO EPIC
C: HECK YES IT IS
LJ: Okay Lucas thanks for all the exposition
C: Oh no! Construction on a worse Death Star! Say it ain’t so!!!
LJ: That Death Star still looks pretty busted to me
C: Lord Vader in da hooouse!
LJ: Welcome back buddy! Long time no see!
LJ: Wow that commander has a srsly adorable dimple haha
C: Aww he does! Boop!
C: Oh heyyyy brobots!
LJ: OMG 3PO is doing something useful!
C: First time for everything!
LJ: Gold star brah
LJ: And this little piggy went AHHHHHH
LJ: EW MORE LIKE JABBA LOOKS LIKE A BUTT
LJ: Oooo Luke somebody combed your hair!
C: He looks all grown up!
LJ: He does! …he also sounds like he’s reading a cue card
C: Just kinda…
LJ: OMG CARBONITE HAN
LJ: HE NEEDS MY HUGS
LJ: Wow this hallway they’re in is scawwy
C: Yeah. I’ve seen worse hostels.
LJ: Space harmonica playing frog?
C: It happens.
C: Ew. I don’t like these CGI additions.
LJ: Oh man forgot about the weird new cgi lady reptile singer
LJ: He needs to employ someone whose job it is to tell him no
C: SRSLY. Think he’s taking applications for the new film??
C: POOR GUY!!!
C: Oh Boba Fett. Charming the ladies.
LJ: THERMAL DETONATOR!
C: ERRBODY DUCK
LJ: Lando in disguise!
C: Saaaaave him!!!
LJ: Special effects win
LJ: OMG U COULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM BEFORE HE FACE PLANTED
C: Hahaha. Rude.
LJ: WHAT UP LEIA
C: We knew it was a lady because we heard her DAMN HEELS. Poor choice for stealth.
LJ: Again. Where are all the other ladies?
C: Well we did get to see one eaten a bit ago…
C: AND IT FEELS SO GOOD
LJ: WOOKIE HUG
C: And bromantic wookie head stroke
LJ: Aaaaaand the gold swimsuit thing. Responsible for nerd fantasies across generations.
C: Ha! Truth.
C: Poor random pig guard…
LJ: Pork: the other white meat.
LJ: A rancor gotta eat!
C: The ol’ trap their jaw open with a bone trick. Works every time.
LJ: That’s right, Luke, break its nail.
LJ: Awwwww now I feel bad for it
C: IT WHIMPERED LIKE A PUPPEH
LJ: Hey, everybody’s together again!
C: Reunited and it feeeeeels…well, actually could be better.
C: It’s the space yacht!
LJ: How has NO ONE noticed Lando yet?!
C: Jabba needs to wash that green gunk off his face. Ew.
LJ: Errebody’s too scared to tell him he got some goo
LJ: Bye Boba Fett!!!
LJ: Sry bro!
LJ: And sometimes Leia will STRAIGHT UP MURDER A FOOL
C: Not just any fool—gunk-faced Jabba.
LJ: OMG Lando watch out
LJ: HAN CANT SEE AND HE STILL RULES
C: Peace out, space yacht!!!
LJ: That’s what you get for being GROSS
LJ: Death Star 2 y’all clean up nice
C: With the emperor in town they’d better! Eeeeek!
LJ: Two words, Mr. Emperor: sunscreen. Moisturizer.
LJ: When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not!
LJ: YOUR FATHER HE IS
C: Sorry, Luke. Yo daddy be cray.
LJ: He’s just misunderstood!
LJ: Omg there is another…Sky…wa…lker
LJ: Peace Yoda 😦
C: I’m sorry and all, but…all I could look at was Yoda’s lazy eye…
LJ: HES 900
LJ: HAVE SOME RESPECT
C: HE’S VOICED BY GROVER
LJ: Oh hey Ben!
C: He is a very clear apparition! Not wispy or faint at all!
LJ: Jedi ghost bro
C: If all ghosts were Jedi ghosts, scary movies would be less scary
LJ: Leia!! Leia is my sister!!
LJ: …immediately followed by a real big OOPS
C: Now Luke has the whoooole ride back to think about the almost incest…
LJ: OMG a lady!! Another rebel lady!!
C: They’re not TOTALLY absent—just mostly.
LJ: Leia has really good hair in this one
C: She does, doesn’t she? Big improvement from the double bun.
LJ: Yeah she leveled up
LJ: Lukes back, yay!
LJ: How does Vader knooooowwww
C: I dunno! Fly casual.
LJ: Hahaha yes. I’m going to start saying that in life
C: Please do.
LJ: …looks like Colorado
C: Way to go, Solo. Snapping that twig…
LJ: COULD HAPPEN TO ANYONE
LJ: High speed chase in the forest, danger level A LOT
C: Jesus take the wheel
LJ: Leia, dive bombing off the speeder
LJ: Incidentally that’s much like how I learned to ride a bike
C: I don’t remember high speed hovercraft divebombing when we were growing up…
LJ: When you’re learning to ride without training wheel THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
C: THEY’RE SO FRIGGIN CUTE
LJ: He’s all suspicious until she has treats
C: THEY’RE LIKE A BEAR AND A DOG AND A PERSON ALL IN ONE
LJ: So, perfection.
LJ: Woah Emperor swivel chair
C: Courtesy of the Death Star IKEA
LJ: Ew Chewie no don’t touch that!
C: Trapped in a primitive net. Fail.
LJ: CAPTURED BY EWOKS, WIN
C: Best. Captors. Ever.
LJ: TREEHOUSE WORLD
C: Oh. My. God. DID YOU SEE THE BABY EWOK???
LJ: Too presh.
C: Also, Leia’s hair is now suuuuuper flower child.
LJ: Yeah haha she’s winning at treehouse world
LJ: And yes. Jedis can make chairs fly!
C: Handy party trick.
C: Han and Leia are totes Facebook official.
LJ: 3PO does sound effects like woah
C: Right? Who knew!!
LJ: HAN MADE AN EWOK FRIEND
C: CUDDLES!!! JEALOUS!!!
LJ: I don’t know if I’m more jealous of Han or the Ewok
C: It’s a toss up.
LJ: Omg Luke and Leia heart to heart
C: Now SHE gets to feel weird about almost incest! Hooray!!!
LJ: Somehow I’ve always known?! Including that time we made out?!
LJ: …it’s fine, everyone. They caught it in time
C: HAN! Be more understanding, bro!
LJ: WHATEVER HE IS FEELING FEELINGS TOO
LJ: Ah Luke and VADER
C: What Luke is trying to say, James Earl Jones, is REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!!! #mufasaisvader
LJ: Okay here we go battle of Endor
C: Admiral Ackbar sounds a little like Winston Churchill.
LJ: Oh, HAN, the old tap-em-on-the-shoulder-and-run trick
C: I literally lol’d. Completely forgot about that. It’s the simple plans.
LJ: So…the Emperor is to Voldemort as Luke is to Harry Potter
C: Which makes Vader…Snape?
C: AND LEIA HERMIONE AND HAN RON
LJ: R2 DOBBY
C: CHEWIE HAGRID
LJ: YODA DUMBLEBORE
C: THIS IS BRILLIANT. WE ARE BRILLIANT.
LJ: LANDO SIRIUS
LJ: Aunte Petunia
LJ: Yay everyone saved by the Ewoks!!
C: Of COURSE. They are the best, most adorable little saviors.
LJ: God their battle cry is precious
C: 3PO seriously could not be more of a pansy. “R2! Come baaaaack!”
LJ: Oh no busted Death Star is operational!!!!!!
C: Gees. The emperor looks like the girl from The Exorcist.
LJ: Right?! Geez you’d think with all that power you could force yourself to be less scary lookin
LJ: That’s right HAN, of course you can hotwire that thing
LJ: Also my phone now autocorrects Han to HAN
C: HA! I’d expect no less from your phone.
LJ: CHEWIE TARZAN YELL
C: I tell you what, thank God they made ewok friends because otherwise they’d be screwed.
LJ: Yeah this battle is won bc of those intrepid little fur balls
LJ: I LOVE YOU
LJ: I KNOW
LJ: Lightsaber battle between Luke and his Vati (note: “Vati” is German for “daddy”)
LJ: Wow these empire guys are chumps
LJ: BOOM BROS YALL GOT BEAT
C: SUFFER ADORABLE DEFEAT
LJ: OMG Luke stay calm bro!!!
LJ: ANOTHER HAND CUT OFF
C: THIS IS LIKE THE 23RD LOST HAND
C: Who is this chump copiloting for Lando??
LJ: Somebody’s cousin, who knows
C: OUCH! Emperor just went Storm on Luke’s ass!
LJ: ANGRY HAND LIGHTNING
C: Vader’s all, “LAY OFF MY KID, BRO.”
LJ: THAT’S RIGHT
LJ: HE WILL PICK YOU UP AND TOSS YOU
C: AND BOOM GOES THE EMPIRE
LJ: OMG VADER stop being sweet right before you dieeeeee
C: To think—that was once Hayden Christensen…
LJ: Whatever, no it wasn’t
LJ: Oh Han you don’t understand!!!
LJ: HE’S HER BROTHER
C: HAN IS SO BEFUDDLED
LJ: Goodbye Anakin 😦
LJ: Haha my phone tried to correct that to Analog
C: Lol! iPhone, c’mon—aren’t you familiar with Star Wars?
LJ: Oh dear rebel pilots up your dancing game pls
C: I think even 3PO could dance better.
C: He IS dancing better.
LJ: THAT’S HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
LJ: THEY SUPERIMPOSED HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
C: …Are you gonna be okay?
LJ: IT SEEMS WRONG.
C: It does. Hopefully J.J. Abrams can right the wrongs of Episodes 1-3.
C: But hey—we finished our first trio of movies!!!
LJ: Next: [INSERT SPOILER]
That’s right! We’ve already decided what trilogy we’re tackling next! For now, I will only give you this hint: the first one is awesome, the second is fairly good (in my opinion), and the third one is not so good (in the world’s opinion). I hope you guys are enjoying this feature because my sister and I have been having a blast. Any trilogies you lot think we should take on? Open for suggestions! And HAPPY FRIDAY! 🙂
57 thoughts on “Schuster Sister Shenanigans: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi”
I’m guessing the next trilogy is Back to the Future or The Matrix. Could you please do the Star Wars Holiday Special like this?
Oooh both good guesses (and good suggestions), but nope! I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Star Wars Holiday Special. Is it good?
To say you’ve seen it is like wearing a badge of honor.
I also believe it is The Matrix, and to imply that any of the Back to the Future movies are less than stellar is blasphemy.
Great Scott! Are you saying there is no spoon?
Good thing I’m not talking about Back to the Future then. 😉 Not The Matrix either!
Ohh, Look Who’s Talking.
Also a good guess…but try again!
Drew guessed it already, silly! Jurassic Park!
I was using the Notifications window.
HA!! LOVE IT!!! is the next one those first three Spiderman movies??
IMO – the next trilogy you should do is the Feast trilogy 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Oh gees. I have a feeling Feast would not be up our alley. Definitely not my sister’s anyway. She doesn’t do scary movies. Also not Spider-Man, but good guess! 🙂
I knew that before I finished typing 🙂 🙂 🙂
Simply fantastic! Sounds like you two have such a blast together. I’m guessing either The Godfather, The Hangover, or the Jurassic Park trilogy (any of which would be fine by me).
DING DING DING! We have a winner! Jurassic Park! Good call, Drew! 😀
THE THIRD ONE FUCKING RULES YOU STOP
IT’S AWESOME YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS THE LIE
LAURAJO BACK ME UP
We’ve previously discussed this. She’s on my side, brah.
I DON’T LIKE IT
DEAL WITH IT.
YOU STARTED IT.
*pulls your hair*
*flicks your face*
Whoa whoa I’m married… oh FLICKS.
Yes, FLICKS. Ewww I wouldn’t want your cooties!
I thought so.
NOW ADMIT JURASSIC PARK III RULES OR I’LL SHAKE COOTIES ALL OVER YOUR EYE HOLES
JURASSIC PARK 3 SUUUUUUUCKSSSSS!!!!! *raspberries*
THAT’S IT I’VE HAD ENOUGH
…I’m a little afraid to find out what this means…
Woop woop! 😎
I am always on Cara’s side, Brian…and the third one sucks.
Our texting about that movie will probably be better than the movie itself.
This is hilarious. It reminds me of watching movies with my bestie, Jen.
Haha thanks, Abbi. You and Jen should give this text-during-a-movie thing a try. It’s pretty fun. 🙂
I am going to suggest it to her. She was forced to move back to Australia in January so we don’t get to watch movies together anymore but a long distance text session sounds like a great idea.
Do itttttt. Really is a fun way to keep in touch.
I think I know what the next trilogy is. These are always awesome. Without fail.
I’m glad you’re enjoying them, Luke! 😀 And Drew may have already figured the next trilogy. Was your guess Jurassic Park? Because…yeah it’s Jurassic Park. Hahaha.
No, I thought Matrix. But JURASSIC PARK!!!!
HECK YES JURASSIC PARK!!!!!
Haha! LOVED this! : ) Such a fun read! And, again, I’m feeling sad that I’m an only child… *pout* : ( lol
Abbi said something about doing it with a friend! You could text a bestie!
“C: HE’S VOICED BY GROVER”
Hilarious it was!
Lol! Glad you enjoyed it! 🙂
Please tell me you DID NOT compare Star Wars with Harry Potter??!!!! I think I’m falling out of love with Laura Jo as we speak. #itcouldhavebeensogood 😦
It’s okay, Mike, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.
Personally, I see no problem with comparing two awesome franchises. However, if this is what it takes to get you to stop creeping on my sister, then by all by means…
Jealousy is an ugly emotion Cara
Creepiness is an ugly character trait, Mike.
Jabba da Hutt brah!
Hell yeeeeah, son!