April Fools 2014: Digital Shortbread

Remember when I promised you that review yesterday? Yeahhhh. Not gonna happen today. Hahaha. Fortunately, the wonderful Mr. Tom of Digital Shortbread–an awesome review site that you should definitely follow with one my very favorite rating systems–is here to save the day. April Fools is rolling right along, and Tom is here to share some of his very favorite lovable film idiots. Tom, the floor is yours!

 

So Cara came up with the really fun idea of compiling lists of our favorite and most lovable idiots from the movies and T.V. shows we have watched and I simply could not say ‘No’ to this idea. Given that I am drawn to idiotic characters, narrowing this bunch down to five was quite the tall task. But in the end, I had to limit the selection to comedies, and it quickly became obvious that these particular peeps were the most idiotic and most lovable of the lot. Without further ado, here’s what I select as my April Fools (in no particular order):

1) Jim Carrey’s Ace Ventura – Pet Detective /When Nature Calls.

Idiotic Factor: I feel as though I shouldn’t have to explain this character too much, we all are to some degree aware of Jim Carrey’s general antics and his ability to make his face move like silly putty. But for this role he applies this ability to the extreme, making for one of the most outlandish and random characters ever conjured up.

Lovable Factor: Besides my appreciation for Carrey’s generally odd brand of physical humor, his character’s love of animals redeems him as a genuinely good guy. He loves penguins and elephants as much as he adores skunks and snakes. He also does his research. He knows the difference between bottle-nosed dolphins and. . . . .un-bottle-nosed dolphins; as well, he has a greater understanding of the rhino birthing process than any of us will ever have. And that hair of his of course caps off a ridiculous personality that no one can ever come close to touching.

Quoted: “Captain’s Log, stardate 23.9, rounded off to the. . .nearest decimal point. We’ve. . .traveled back in time to save an ancient species from. . .total annihilation. So far. . .no signs of aquatic life, but I’m going to find it. If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I’m going to find it. I’ve. . .GOT TO, MISTER!”

2) Steve Martin’s Navin Johnson – The Jerk.

Idiotic Factor: Navin was not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He was more like a dull, poop brown. Raised by a poor black family, Whitey McWhiterson doesn’t have the brain cells needed to realize he isn’t black like them. But don’t confuse his ignorance with racism. He is, after all, a simpleton who doesn’t even know how much of a jerk he’s becoming with every cent wealthier he becomes as the movie pushes forward in time.

Lovable Factor: Okay, so it’s no secret that Navin does live up to the film’s title on more than a few occasions. By the end of the film he’s essentially forgotten who he was and where he came from and needs more than a little reminding of just what that was. Ultimately, though, despite the things he’s said and what he’s done to those around him he’s the same sweet, bumbling twit trying his best to make something of his life. He’s not the most intelligent individual, so he must be forgiven for his missteps. The fact that he did become a person of wealth is, in some weird way, an accomplishment that he can now be proud of. But at the end of the day, I love Navin just because he’s Navin, the whitest black guy I’ve ever known.

Quoted: “Huh? I am *not* a bum. I’m a jerk. I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends, and. . .uh. . .my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin’ on the porch with my family, singin’ and dancin’ down in Mississippi. . .”

3) Steve Carell’s Andy Stitzer – The 40 Year Old Virgin.

Idiotic Factor: Who waits this long to have sex for the first time?

Lovable Factor: The character is a stroke of genius. Though losing one’s virginity is the revelatory equivalent of discovering you’ve outgrown the indoor play-places at McDonald’s, Steve Carell imbues Andy with a deer-in-the-headlights sensibility that makes him very, very hard not to like. Maybe even pity. He’s quiet and polite, slightly odd yes, but nevertheless an all-around likable guy. Despite hanging on to collectibles for perhaps just a tad too long as well. When the time comes in the movie for him to describe how boobs feel, and his response is “bags of sand,” you can’t help but feel bad for this very nice dork.

Quoted: “Is it true that if you don’t ‘use’ it, you ‘lose’ it?”

4) Stephen Root’s Milton Waddams – Office Space.

Idiotic Factor: Milton is a summation of every person in the workplace too timid to speak and/or stand up for themselves, whenever they find themselves being done injustice in the workplace. With those ridiculously thick-lensed glasses dangling off of his face, Milton conveys a spectacular depth of despair in his sad, tired face. He’s not exactly well-spoken so he comes across as even more of a dunce whenever he is given the opportunity to try and say something.

Lovable Factor: Please just take your hands off of his red Swing Line stapler. That’s all he wants. That, and to burn the building to the ground. But working in an office cubicle all day, how can you not? There’s more that’s human about this seemingly one-dimensional dolt than first meets the eye. He’s a good dude.

Quoted: “Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven’t received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it. . .”

5) Chevy Chase’s Clark Griswold – pretty much all of the Vacations he was a part of.

Idiotic Factor: You mean, besides the sheer amount of situations this guy has put his family through. . .? We love you Clark, but my goodness. Sometimes you talk yourself into a hole that not even The Dark Knight could climb back out of.

Lovable Factor: Mr. Griswold always means well for himself and his family, but yes. He has a tendency to not stop talking sometimes. But this, I love about Chevy Chase’s many appearances as the world’s most lovable idiot dad. Whether it be in Europe, Vegas or back at home, the wheels may always be falling off the wagon but Clark’s also always there to help put them back on. That’s a metaphor but I also mean it quite literally. This is one great, great character, and my favorite that Chevy Chase has ever done.

Quoted: “I think you’re all f**ked in the head. We’re ten hours from the f**king fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun. . .We’re all gonna have so much f**king fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of your a**holes! I must be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!”

 

Yet another fantastic list for April Fools! Thanks so much, Tom! Expect more from April Fools soon, friends! But tomorrow, hopefully I’ll…no, not “hopefully.” I WILL have a new review for you tomorrow, and after that a write-up on what I’m expecting to be a very, very awesome premiere (I’m sure many of you already know what I’m talking about). Enjoy your weekend! 🙂