INTRO AND SUCH
It does not understand why this is so dark. It cannot make out anything that’s going on. Why is Rick Castle shouting so much? Is he shooting people?? Did he just win a war?? It is confused. Years later: they did not win the war; they lost. It just used a semi-colon. It is smart. It appears they are pirates on a stolen space ship. Uh Oh! Their buyer just double crossed them! Casey from Chuck is sure crabby. UH OH! Double crossed by another buyer! These guys don’t have much luck…. much like It. WHAT’S IN THE BOX!!!????!!! Does John Doe have the upper hand???? It likes the mechanic girl – she seems happy. It is rarely happy. It sleeps in It’s own poo. WHAT???????? Summer Glau!!!! It did not love this episode but It has a rule for TV – give it three eps to judge whether or not to continue. It loves Summer Glau. Mistress…. please…..?
THE TRAIN JOB:
It has witnessed a bar fight, saloon style, in the future. It also witnessed a fellow named Tom Towles who has been in every ever made since 1989. The crew is hired to rob a train. They end up stealing a box full of medicine intended to help cure miner’s so thy give it back. Summer Glau begins to talk and the end of this is actually hilarious. It made It LOL despite the constant whippings Mistress Cara is giving It with The Lash. My back, ribs and neck are bloodied yet It honors It’s fealty to my Mistress. It will dream of Summer Glau this evening as It writhes in It’s own filth.
It is really starting to get attached to this theme song. If It had the abilities it would research to see if there is a longer version. But, aside from this brief episode of time where It is free, It is not allowed to listen to music and spends It’s time avoiding upsetting Mistress. This episode was not quite as fun to It as the last but it was still good. It really enjoyed the scene where the brother and sister are hiding outside of the spaceship, looking in. Reflecting on It’s life, It remembers that, before It was Captive, It watched a TV show with Glau and Lena Headey. It was about Terminators and It liked it, but it got cancelled. It hears that Headey is off screwing her brother on some new TV program.
OUR MRS. REYNOLDS:
Why are these people riding around in a covered wagon? It thought this was the future. Why is Castle dressed as a woman? Why is Castle ma – OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG IS THAT A YOUNG CHRISTINA HENDRIX????!?!?!????!??!??!??!?! MISTRESS!!!!! Please let It have It. Please! It vows servitude to you always. Mistress, always. Please let It have some of this.
Even just a poster for It’s cellar wall? Please. It is a good It. It swears. Mistress?
It now understands that this show is fashioned as a Sci-Fi / Western with space being a new “frontier”. This helps explain why everyone is always riding horses and sitting in saloons. It still doesn’t understand why they speak in different languages that It doesn’t understand so often. What is the point of that? In this one, It sees that the crew have traveled to world that makes mud for a living and they have erected (hahahaha It laughs) a statue made out of mud in honor of Casey from Chuck. He is their hero! naturally they run into trouble and some kid dies. That is a shame. Mistress, remember It Follows?? It loved that movie so much and It is pleased by the memories you and It had bonding over it.
OUT OF GAS:
OBJECTS IN SPACE:
HEART OF GOLD: